At night, I fall asleep instantly and I sleep like a rock - that is, until one of the kids or Dad wakes me up somewhere usually between the hours of 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. Barely awake, I stumble through the dark bedroom towards the culprit, praying I may soon return to slumber. Usually, it's Liam these days. Lily will just quietly sneak into our bed, unnoticed at first, until I wake up to her foot in my face. Mostly, it is Liam who I must get up for during the night. Liam and I sit in our quiet bedroom, listening to the others breathing their sleeping breathe. He will lay very still for a toddler. I sometimes forget that he isn't an infant because in some ways he still is cuddling like one. I watch Liam stare off into the dark, every moment watching his eyelids become heavier and heavier as he drifts off back to sleep. I don't want to be too anxious to lay Liam back down so I wait until I feel him resting very heavily into my arms. With Liam asleep, I return to bed. I already k...
Notes to My Future Self.