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Day 10. in which we wait for Day 11.

A very tall Seth.
A very tall Seth.,
originally uploaded by sleepjunky.
Remember how long the days used to seem when you were little? I recall the summer I realized that the length of summer vacation was not half the year, the summer I became 'aware' of the calendar. I think this may be one of the saddest, yet least recognized, moments of childhood. The moment when you recognize that the days no longer flowed together in an endless blur; the counting of the calendar to tomorrow had begun.

It's unfortunate that we spend most of the week waiting for Friday. I am guilty of day-counting. Our entire family is. This also puts a lot of pressure on Friday. Friday has to be a bang-up day. Something has to happen! I know I typically feel disappointed as I drift off to sleep on Friday, because I feel that I'm already one evening into the weekend, and I haven't even thought about doing all of the things I really want to do, let alone actually doing any of them.

Worse than day-counting is week-counting (or even month-counting!). You inevitably are always 'waiting' and not 'living'. I am waiting for payday. I am waiting for when my family comes over to visit a couple of Saturdays from now. I am waiting for the summer so we can take the kids to Rye Beach. I am waiting...

If I wait for too long, I might miss the fact that being is immediate and now. If I want to live, I better start paying attention and stop counting time.

I feel every time I look at my son, he has grown another foot, and his voice is an octave lower. How did this happen?? The kids are growing older much too quickly. This is terrifying!