Pages

Day 29. in which Alex can't sleep.

At night, I fall asleep instantly and I sleep like a rock - that is, until one of the kids or Dad wakes me up somewhere usually between the hours of 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. Barely awake, I stumble through the dark bedroom towards the culprit, praying I may soon return to slumber. Usually, it's Liam these days. Lily will just quietly sneak into our bed, unnoticed at first, until I wake up to her foot in my face. Mostly, it is Liam who I must get up for during the night.

Liam and I sit in our quiet bedroom, listening to the others breathing their sleeping breathe. He will lay very still for a toddler. I sometimes forget that he isn't an infant because in some ways he still is cuddling like one. I watch Liam stare off into the dark, every moment watching his eyelids become heavier and heavier as he drifts off back to sleep. I don't want to be too anxious to lay Liam back down so I wait until I feel him resting very heavily into my arms.

With Liam asleep, I return to bed. I already know I won't be able to sleep. Perhaps I am unconsciously willing myself to have insomnia? Am I that much of a sadist?

Sadly enough, I find myself thinking about work. I don't mean to, but it's an illness of mine. I'm lying in bed at 3 in the morning thinking about MyCompLab. Oh, I guess I am a sadist!

I had turned on the TV for light, but it was muted. CNN was on. And I found that there is only one thing more disturbing than watching CNN with the volume on, it's watching CNN with the volume off. Why? Well, a number of reasons, but let's start with the scrolling ticker at the bottom of the screen.

CNN: The Most Trusted Name in News.

I wondered how many times had I read that before? This seemed worse than subliminal advertising because I should be able to notice it!

A show called Showbiz Tonight! was on. What a bunch of bunk! I didn't think there was anything worse than Nancy Grace or Glenn Beck on CNN, but this takes the cake. So the top half of the screen they are reporting (if that's what you want to call it) something entirely useless about Britney Spears and how she's losing her mind, how her family is planning on an intervention. Worse yet, there appear to be 3 different commentators actually discussing this. I have no idea what they are saying, but I don't think that really matters. Who are these people? What exactly are they experts in? and how qualified can they be if they are on this show which is complete hoo-ha!?

But the depths of ugliness unfortunately do not end there. On the ticker at the bottom of the screen between the messages about how trustworthy CNN is and about how Britney's father was coming to have a stern talk with her was the following blurb:

American U.S. Casualities in Iraq since start of the war: 3941

Let me tell you, if I couldn't sleep before, I definitely couldn't sleep now.