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Day 71. in which Alex dreams about sleep.

Pillow Top. Plush. Latex. Memory Foam.

What is up with the California King? I don't get it. Are people from California taller? Shorter? Wider? and if yes, why?

Honestly, shopping online for mattresses is a complete waste of time and researching it online to get the answers to the questions above is killing me.

I just want a comfortable bed. And I don't want to pay something ridiculous for it. Let's face it - Dana and I will likely need to buy a new one in a few years, anyway, since I anticipate Lily and Liam will spend a lot of time bouncing on it.

I've never had a brand new bed before. Everything I've had has been a hand-me-down. When you're young, you don't know the difference. Your body doesn't ache when you get of bed at 13. It's something of which I wish I had appreciated more when I was younger. Not being 13, because that is just horrible. But feeling 13 is good.

At 13, my father had to argue with me to get rid of this ratty old mattress I was sleeping on. I was stubborn. I had slept on this mattress my entire life after graduating from my crib. I actually remember moving from my crib to the bed. It was truly liberating.

This mattress and box spring, in particular, had special meaning. It had been given to me by my "Nanny"(my mother's mum)whom I had adored. She had died when I was 8 and I was truly grief-stricken from it. She had always maintained a steady supply of cheesy poofs on top of her fridge for me, and she didn't yell at me when I got into her nail polish (I didn't realize you couldn't wash it off with water...). I know it must seem absurd to want to hang onto an uncomfortable mattress, but I was grasping. It was all I had left to hold onto. I didn't want to give it up, even though the metal springs were starting to pop out of the mattress. I even had sustained a few scrapes from them.

Around the time I was 13, futon mattresses had become popular. I'm not sure why. I suspect it was huge all of a sudden because they are so comfortable when you first lay down on one. So everyone rushed out and bought futon mattresses, hearing from friends on how good they were. Then they crapped out a year later. And everyone was stuck with an uncomfortable futon mattress.

You would think that nothing is worse than sleeping on a futon mattress.

Well, let me tell you, I've been sleeping on an air mattress for nearly two years now. Some of that time, I actually slept on the floor because I didn't even have an air mattress. We've gone through about 4 air mattresses in total, actually.

And this is all my fault.

I had a perfectly good bed. It wasn't great, but it was functional. The mattress was a hand-me-down. I slept on it for awhile. It wasn't so bad. I am not sure why I just didn't get a new mattress. The thought never occurred to me.

I decided I wanted a new bed.

But I decided that as long as I had a bed, I would never get around to shopping for one. Honestly, bed shopping is not fun...I knew I would procrastinate forever on this, unless I put a fool-proof system in place.

The system I developed was to get rid of my bed. This way, I would be uncomfortable sleeping on the floor and would be more motivated to shop for a new bed.

Yeah. heh.

Two years later, my body is crying and I'm staring at the ceiling half the night. And shopping online isn't making it happen any faster. Every mattress looks like every other mattress! The only thing unique is the price tag! Like every other idiot in America, I began to think the more I paid meant the better I would sleep. Yeah. heh.