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Day 87. in which Alex is humbled.

Dana can't resist calling me at 4:15 every afternoon. He knows that my day ends at 4:30 but he must get very excited because he just can't make it those 15 minutes.

It's so like clock-work that if I didn't know his phone was set to GPS time, I would think he just might not know what time it is. Perhaps he is looking at the time on an analog clock that is 15 minutes off?

So we had our hundredth argument about 4:15 phone calls. I'm trying to wind up my day at work and because of the 4:15 call, I will consequently be late leaving the office now.

Why answer the 4:15 call? I do let many calls go to voice mail. But Dana is very persistent. And since he is caring for our three kids and my dear old Dad, I feel a certain obligation to answer the call. What if it's an emergency?

I'm honestly cannot recall if there ever has been an emergency at 4:15 pm, but there could be...

Love must have been so much better in the days before the telephone existed.

I was already cranky from work at 4:15. I kind of felt like my brain might be melting. The 4:15 call made me more cranky. And my crankiness was compounding my crankiness because I don't like being cranky. And poor Kyrce, she had to hear about how cranky I was all the way out to the car and most of the way home. She also had the joy of hearing me and Dana cursing at each other when I called him back from the car.

I started counting the days to the Frost Valley retreat with Kyrce...For the sake of both my family and job, I had to get away as soon as possible! Poor Kyrce! When does she get away from me?

Andrew, Andrea's fiance, made our family chicken catchatorie for dinner tonight. I had completely forgotten they were coming until I walked in the door around 6:30, after the commute home from USR.

Andrew is an amazing cook and he makes it looks so simple. I'm not so big on the cooking thing. When I was younger, I recall enjoying it. But my love for cooking has not grown over the years. Luckily for me, Dana likes to cook. Or, at least, he doesn't complain about it.

I walk into my house and it's a busy one. I tried to put on my smiling face as best as I could paste it on, but it wasn't such a good one. Here I am, pulling my chair up to the dining room table, with Andrew setting a delicious meal in front of me and Andrea helping with the kids, and I can't get over being cranky. Trying makes it worse.

so.tired.

I have a beautiful family. I have a great job. (Despite what I say from time to time, I've had jobs that are not great - so as bad as this one ever might seem, it's not a quarter of as bad as I've had.) Dinner was made for me!

So what the hell is the problem?!

I AM EXHAUSTED!

Fair enough.

But what I need to remember is that everyone around me is likely as exhausted as I am. It's hard to think of this when you're stuck in this mental stagnancy. We tend to forget all of the important and beautiful things when we start feeling sorry for ourselves.

But I challenge you - and myself - to take a step back outside of your mind for a few minutes today to look around and realize how really good you've got it.

If you think you don't and you're sitting at a computer right now reading this, you've probably got it pretty good - at least, far better than many.

And it's about time I wake up and start remembering this.