MISSING!
Mr. Potato Head was discovered this afternoon in the Brown-Soechting living room. Visibly frenetic from the recent attack, the victim was found smiling deliriously despite missing several key body parts - most noticeably, his arms, ears and nose. Since his ears are missing, interviewing the subject was impossible. The attack occurred during the light of day in a residential neighborhood and does not appear to be an isolated incident as other victims were discovered near the scene of attack.
There are two primary suspects in the case. Lilith Soechting, age 2, Liam Soechting, age 1, both were found at the scene of the crime.
Lilith said Liam did it.
Liam refused to comment.